Sore for eyesight

#4 Spyruined

2009-05-26T10:14:18Z

#4 The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon.

I was drawing Bianca and Hunter tonight and it reminded me of how terrible Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon was. I don't even have to play the first two games of that trilogy to know that the game-play is boring and redundant.
My sister's and I rented the Wii version of the game the week it came out, thinking it wouldn't be half as bad some people said it was in comparison to the original Spyro trilogy. You know, better give something a chance before making false assumptions. As it turns out, those people were right.
To start off, I probably should have played the first two games before picking this one up. It didn't really help my opinion of the game when they thrust me into this strange running-away sequence from this giant golem-type creature. My confusion was only increased when this unfamiliar dragon-bitch, tethered to me by a lazer rope, was telling me to do shit.
The camera was wonky and frustrating. It was like they tried mixing a platformer with a side-scroller and it gave me the biggest headache of my life.
The enemies were my least favorite part. I actually got stuck in this one part where I had to keep these mole guy's canon's safe from these never-ending enemies that popped out of the ground. I actually put the game down after that becuase it just wasn't worth it. The endless enemies were redundant and frustrating as hell. And Spyro and Cynder's attacks were nearly impossible to use. Even running or flying was fucking hard to figure out.
The thing that really pissed me off was that the characters were completely different from the origional Spyro trilogy. Instead of Spyro's carefree "I'm a bad ass" additude, he was like... modest and reserved and wanted to save the world for the good of dragon-kind or some shit.
Hunter was serious and adamant, whereas he should have been goofy and a jokester. His personality was seriously the biggest let-down of this whole game. His character design was pretty cool, though, I'll admit.
And out of fucking no-where, Sparx can speak in perfect English and was the comic-relief. His jokes were terrible and his Wayne Brady voice was just too much. It was such stereotypical black-guy lingo. It made me "WTF" a lot.

It's too bad Insomniac Games didn't keep Spyro's rights. Because these new games just fucking blow my balls.

# 3 Evolushit

2009-05-24T22:06:47Z

#3 Dragonball Evolution

This was copy-pasted from a journal I wrote in April right after I watched the live-action Dragonball movie in theaters.

Dagonball Evolution spoilers ahead.

Bulma and Yamucha were my favorite characters by far. And Master Roshi was pretty awesome too. I was really really surprised to find out that he was somewhat of a pervert, when I had heard so many rumors that he wasn't going to be one. Goku was my third favorite character. Justin Chatwin couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, but for some reason, I actually liked that! I guess it made him seem more...naive, like the real Goku. And Chichi was a slut.
Other things that were awesome, surprising treats were some of the houses and places. Like Master Roshi's island in the bay, and Chichi's castle house. I was actually half-way expecting Goku to knock on the door and be answered by some fucking huge guy with bull horns for a hat. And Goku had his extending staff!! So fucking awesome!

Anyway. Along with some good things, there were a LOT of bad and confusing things.
Because they seemed to have mixed Mai and Shu together, I'm going to call her "Mhu" from now on. Or maybe "Shai"...And I guess when you mix two completely dorky characters together, you get one really serious one. Piccolo wasn't bad, but he hardly got any screen time. I think the most awkward scene was when he sat in that cloning chair. By that time, I had completely forgotten about the "Namekian Ninjas" and was expecting Tambourine or Drum to jump out of the cloning chamber, haha. Also, I had watched the second Poke`mon movie earlier that day, so when I saw Piccolo in his flying ship, my sister and I were joking about the collector. At any rate...

Other little things that bothered me were things like Bulma's "D.B.E." What the fuck is that all about?! It's a Dragon radar. It's not that hard to say, Bulma.
And the fact that Goku was the one to school Bulma about the Dragonballs made me cringe. But the capsule was cool. And when she drove off with Goku on the back of her bike, it had that Dragonball feel to it and it was wonderful. They even used everyone's last name! (At least, those who had them.) And they even referred to Master Roshi as "Muten Roshi". That was cool beanz.

The fight scenes were cool at some parts and fucking strange in others. When the "Namekian Ninja's" jumped the gang, the camera was everywhere and it was so fast paced that it made me sick. The flashback scene where Shai stole Bulma's Dragonball was...odd.
But in the beginning, when Grandpa Gohan and Goku were fighting, that was pretty neat.

I can't remember anything else right now so I'll just jump to the ending. When Goku was informed that he was the Oozaru, his reaction was hilariously over-the-top and so fake. "NO...IT...CAN'T BE!!" RAAAGEEE.

Like seriously. By this point, my head was cradled in my hand because it was just so embarrassing.
For some reason, Bulma was like, crying when Mhu ganged up on her to steal her Dragonball. I figured she was sad cuz she had to throw her favorite Capsule at her. "My daddy gave this to me for my birthday...*sobs*"

When Goku finally turned back into a human, it was aweful. His acting was the worst at this point. "I am Goku. I am Oozaru. In order to defeat you, I must be one with myself....which means I have to be one with...two...and Oozaru is me and..." *head explodes*

The final fight scene was...stupid. So, Goku's doing his super awesome Kamehameha and he flies in the air and Piccolo jumps at him and they clash!! And you think that Goku's going to Dragon Fist right through Piccolo's stomach!! But....then you see Goku standing....with Piccolo laying on the...ground...pretty much unscathed...

I didn't get it.

So then Master Roshi was dead. So they decided to use the Dragonballs to wish him back to life. The Dragon was short. It was like Shenlong's midget brother or something.
But Master Roshi was wished back to life and all was well! Then Chichi made Goku fight with and make out with her.

And at the very end, Piccolo is being nursed back to health by some Katara-looking chick. It was hilarious. She pats his head with a rag and he turns around and looks into the camera,

"Gohan...is that you?!"

#2 Ass-hole Hangouts

2008-08-25T01:24:36Z

#2 Forums

If there are any two places on the internet that house almost every close-minded asshole on the planet, those places would be image boards, and forums.

Mind you I don't go to forums that often and that's for two reasons. 1: Most are as confusing as hell and my posts get pushed to the umpteenth page without barely even one view and 2: Every member is a fucking asshole who strives to make other's feel like shit.

I admit that sometimes I can be the asshole but it's only to other assholes. So it ends up being a never ending cycle of assholery.

And to make things worse, these douche bags think they're on the top of the fucking world with their twenty-picture signatures with quotes from shit like Harry Potter or something. I know I didn't have a life but these people...SHEESH.

If I had a quarter for every time I wanted to pull my hair out after visiting a forum...I'd be rich and bald.

#1 The News

2008-06-18T08:54:15Z

I decided I would actually use this account for something useful!

Now you can see the sores my eyes get everyday.

#1. Zutara FanFictions

I could write a million entries about how awful some Zutara fanfictions can be. I just might, actually lol.

Most fanfics I've read make Zuko and Katara COMPLETELY out of character. Zuko's either way too fucking happy or rape addicted. Katara is usually portrayed as this oblivious retard who doesn't understand human emotions.

But sometimes you get those fanfics that are totally in character, yet they focus on the most bogus and creepiest subjects. Like pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, pregnancy is cute in it's own way. But I wanna read about an adorable dramatic romance, not Katara lugging her fat ass around. Another weird subject is the woman's menstrual cycle. It's great that authors want to give a realistic feel to the Avatar universe, but something like that is a little too odd for me. Plus, I don't want to hear about something I, myself, loath.

And don't even get me started on one-shots. "Hey bitch, I hate you." "Oh okay, let's make out."

1: I either can't read well or this person isn't descriptive enough.
2. "Lololol I want a million favorites and comments so I'll write about Zutara even tho I like Kataang doiii"